Boyfriend seems to be cheap and not ready for intimacy?

Hey,





I have been dating a guy for 6 months who is in his mid thirties. He tells his friends that i am his gf.We hold hands and a peck on the lips. I tried to initiate by moving close to him with no good response. I am becoming frustrated as well because he seems to be very cheap these days. He only wants to go to the movies. When he buys something, he wants to share it. For the past two months, I tried to get him to go to a romantic concert (for August) and he still did not make an attempt to get the tickets. However, he is willing to go to any free events. He does not have very low funds because he lives with his folks. I am trying to not sound like a gold digger but women love to have someone who is romantic and take them out to dinner occasionally...Or buy flowers unexpectedly...My coworker said that I should suggest for us to go away for the weekend but he may come up with a bunch of excuses like the concert. What do you guys think that I should do? I like him but frustrated.

Boyfriend seems to be cheap and not ready for intimacy?
he sounds like a deadbeat, hes lazy and cheap and dont expect it to get any better if you stay





Also the intimacy stuff sounds kind of weird. He sounds like a jerk.
Reply:You should come straight out with this!You want to have romantic relations but can not tell him you think he is cheap!Ask there is probably an explanation behind it,maybe he is saving up for a ring!Hope this helps!
Reply:Although he is living with his parents he could be going through financial straits, or he could be saving up so he can pop the question.





It's funny how the language can be used. Cheap for a man means differently than cheap for a woman.
Reply:try making a nice dinner in for u both and treat him with a little prezzie u know he d like.if he doent respond to that then he s being ignorant!
Reply:hey !!


well he seems to be a saver and doesnt seem to like to spend and all !!


i suggest you try and pay once or twice so mayb he will be motivated to spend too !


i mean mayb even he wants to be treated speacially


tc


all the best
Reply:it is just the way he is, you espect him to buy you things in order for you to feel better, why didnt you buy the tickets if you wanted to go that bad. maybe he is saving up for something more worthy than flowers and an expensive night out of town.
Reply:Is there any particular reason he is in his mid 30s and is still living with his parents??? It could be that he is saving up money to go out on his own, possibly buy a house rather than rent one and that is pretty costly.....





Also... with my boyfriend and I... i feel that the cost of a relationship is 50/50.. if I invite my guy to go somewhere I pay because i invited him, visa versa.. though sometimes he insists on paying... I dont think that if i call my guy up and say hey lets go to dinner tonight, that he should be stuck with the bill when I am the one who invited him... it isnt right.... The cost of living is expensive now a days and If your guy is saving up to move or what not i do not blame him, would you rather him be a huge spender and be broke all of the time and not have any responsibility, you can take this two ways... you can take it as him being repsonsible, or him being cheap.... maybe it is a little of both...the only thing I can say is to talk to him, but dont talk to him about buying things for you, because you will sound like a gold digger for sure... just tell him that you feel the two of you should go out more to places, and you also feel that you as well as him can split the bills, like every other time you go out one of you pays... ect... you cant expect the guy to pay everytime, this is 2007 sweetheart, things have changed, things are more expensive.... him saving money could potentially be a good thing for the two of you if you work out.... he will be financially stable.. also you cant expect that everytime you are together you two are going to go to a nice expensive place, or spend money all of the time... now a days you just cannot do that...unless you are rich or a celebrity...also guys dont pick up on the whole "women like romance and intimacy" tell him some of your romantic fantasies or dreams, or you spark up the romantic dinner, or you spark up the romance. About you initiating further intimacy, im guessing you were hoping that it would lead to sex, maybe your guy doesnt want to jump into things, he wants to take it slow, to make sure it is the right thing to do, after all if you give everything you have to your mate right away, there is nothing left to look forward to years down the road, and also if you are connected on that high of a level and you guys dont work out, it is a lot more painful to end the relationship.
Reply:I have a female friend like this, my husband laughs at her because she is dating some guy and they go to a buffet all of the time, she even got food poisoning from the buffet and still goes back there to eat. She also shops at the good will store for her clothes- she has money, lives with her folks too but she bargain shops all of the time. I think her bf is embarrassed in a way and suggested he buy her a nice pair of sunglasses and get rid of the cheap ones she wears all of the time.


You cannot change someone who is set in their way like that- it has it's pro's and cons though, unlike us who spend money and live day by day, we have no retirement fund or decent savings- someone like this will be financially set.


Maybe offer to help pay for things, my husband was sort of a cheapo when we first met, I always paid for lunch and the dates, never knew why but then realized I just offered to pay too much and he was not in a great financial position- had his own home and bills to pay- understandable.


It is okay to be cheap and bargain especially these days but a complete tight wad is no good. Just offer to help pay and see what response you get then. Who knows, maybe he is saving up to buy a house or something, maybe he has plans in the back of his mind that you aren't aware of.


As for movies, my God I took my daughter to see a movie a few weeks ago, just for her and I, sodas and snacks I spent nearly $30! I was so pissed- we can rent a movie for all of us to see for less than $5 and not spend anything on snacks and soda when we already have all of that in the house.